Measured consumer behavior: an oxymoron

Consumer behavior: six, neat little syllables that run the life of every market researcher. The statistical reports consist of a dehumanizing package of abstract measurements, urgently created to shorten the distance between a product going on the shelf and a product purchased. In spite of how we fight off those who want to categorize ‘us,’ we move with urgency and passion to fit all people into these concise, mental boxes. We write the description on a tag, in ink, seal it up quickly and deliver it to the advertising group to create our messaging and sales strategies.

“This person likes funny stories and family sitcoms. This person is college educated and serious about life. This person buys 40 iTunes each week. And so forth. It’s as though we believe that once we catch a potential consumer in a repetitive behavior, whether it’s sampled correctly or not, we are somehow Pavlovically bound to put that momentary rhythm into a static, scientific equation. Satisfied with our pronouncement, we eagerly fill in the line with a number two pencil as though we can freeze this subject matter into a glacial, economic compass to act as an inert tool of commerce.

We are not a product of these patterns. In fact, even by reaching back and asking respondents what they had for breakfast, or where they live is still ignorant of the rocky landscape we balance our lives on. Each of our experiences, like a dodge ball shot unexpectedly into our gut, causes us to change course and become new people in every instance of consciousness. Surprise and rigidity are our constant reactions, as we decide how to catalog the things that throw us off kilter. And…everything throws us off. So, it stands to reason that every moment must be an act of trying to return to balance.

In fact, new studies are confirming that are lives change with each sweep of the second hand no matter how we were educated, raised, abused or celebrated. When a consumer walks into your store today he or she will NOT be the same person tomorrow or even later that evening. On their way to see you a bad call could have come from the Principal’s office, PMS could be flaring up; an interview for a new job could have breathed new life into things, and so forth. Trying to target and hit people using static measurements is so impossible, there’s no metaphor to define its silliness. We are constantly changing and that is a good thing - but only to the extent of seeking equilibrium and of course, safety.

So really; consumer research as a science…hmmm. How and why did we ever start this punch-card like race? What has moved us, in all our intelligence to even conceive of such a Borg-like activity? Where is the final value in creating millions of small chips of non-conclusive giga-blurbs to populate spreadsheets, pie-charts and bar codes? Are we really finding patterns that repeat without fail? Are we exponentially developing success in gaining market share over the long haul? Are we becoming more profitable with less effort and waste? And really, have the results of these frozen moments of madness ever brought us to any kind of enlightenment in creating sustainable, organic, human connections? Has our statistical desire for output truly trumped the conscious mind and its ability to reach out? Or is that fear of showing up without a report too permanent. Is it so palpable so that we deny the fact that our buyers can never be labeled, only nurtured, encouraged and protected?

It’s easy to see the answer is no to many of the questions asked above. Perhaps this is a cultural question. Born in the synapses of early western settlers who were thrown together in a mix of blood and DNA, we found each other gathered together with the tools of modern civilization at our fingertips but we use a compass run by primitive, instinctive forces. Our ancestors, a mix of exiles, adventurers, criminals and dreamers, followed their hearts to conquer a new land and a continent. We ignored or it was bred out of us, that enlightenment is not something you own or achieve, it is a state of being. And soon, we forgot about this moment and focused only on the past and the future; two things that really never occur. We replaced much of our curiosity with impulsive abandon, our common sense with guilt, replaced our natural ability to believe in magic and love with the industrialized oil and grit of civilization.

Now, even though this appears to be a treatise of banishing modern industry, it’s not. It’s simply a debate on the idea that we are easily encouraged to lock ourselves into static progression, without admitting that the ebb and flow of our emotions, our circumstances and the Tao of Physics are the forces that will lead us to peace.

Sure, our western culture seeks equilibrium, but in a broken way as it relates to sensory balance and wellness in selling. I see metaphors all around us of how we repel fear, treating it like a leprous stranger, fraught with superstition as we ignore its benefits and companionship in learning how to stay balanced, in learning how to overcome a problem, in learning how to serve our fellow man.

We assume that if we come to close to madness one day or euphoria the next that we are coming dangerously close to eliminating ourselves from the normalcy of the human race. Our fears constantly revolve around the entanglements of ego that will be lost or stolen if we don’t act “normal.” We are galvanized by the idea of hiding our very humanity.

Take for instance the fact that a new drug store is rising out of the dirt on any random corner on any random day. We live for the drug or pill that keeps us centered on some middle point we consider to define our functionality, afraid to veer right or left and not knowing why. It’s as though these drug stores stand as our temples of hope against our fear of losing control. Unable to verbalize our pain, name our demons or find the insanity in the phrase, “real men don’t cry,” we pay the price by ignoring our own shut-off valve to stress and pressure.

Think of this abstract behavior and tell me we’re not a dichotomy of opposites: Although we are licensed to operate 2,000 pound, metal vehicles at speeds of 60 miles per hour, separated from death and chaos by only an agreement to obey the omniscient power of the yellow, dotted line, it seems our respect for ourselves and our understanding of our fragile humanity has skipped over our collective heads, like so many pebbles ricocheting off smooth water.

How strange our minds are that survival is a series of cooperative events, unattached and random. We encounter each other for only that split second that we pass within inches of carnage and death, thinking only of our shoes, our appointments, or our hair.

All of these explanations bring us again to one conclusion, and that is that safety is the only foundational and constant element that we can use as our diving rod in seeking commercial success.

Listen to my interview on BuilderRadio.com

Jerry Rouleau, New Home selling expert and host of BuilderRadio.com, interviews me on the Monday Morning Sales Meeting and we discuss the idea of Branding Therapy, core human behavior cues and their value in setting up a successful selling experience and most importantly, the 5 Senses of Marketing and how they can hurt you or help you.

Listen to the podcast, download the information and read the article Jerry has written about the interview. You'll find some hidden facts about what you may be overlooking with your prospects that will make a huge difference in creating connections, trust and solutions that will insure top of mind awareness and action with your buyer!

It's only 20 minutes, but it's time that could make the difference in learning how to success in this new world of home selling.

Wellness in New Home Sales

Why is it so important to provide safety before I begin the sale?

Providing Safety First
It’s a unique concept, approaching the sale from the abstract angle of establishing a safe environment for the prospect, and one that’s not always taken seriously. But in essence, all successful marketing has resulted from that platform. Whether accidental or intentional, buyers are never pushed to us, they are attracted. And it’s that law of attraction that we must delve into to survive.

Let’s start with the reason I market myself as a therapist. We are an industry in need of healing. Outmoded systems and old ideas are choking us and keeping us from embracing the visceral side of what we do.

The visceral side is certainly connected to our core product. How marvelous that we’re in an industry where we sell a little piece of the planet to people. And then we place shelter on that knoll so that they can have a sense of place and connection for our journey through time.

Restoring wellness to the way companies communicate with their buyers and provide goods and services is my highest priority. You wouldn’t think it’s a system that’s broken, but it is. And we’re scared, shivering and yearning for warmth and a way into success.

To become our own healers again, we need to know how to create a toolbox of soothing and healing systems for the home building industry, by restoring health to the way salespeople deal with prospects, the way builders deal with their entire organizations, and the way they create homes for us to live and thrive in. By approaching the process from a more organic viewpoint, we see that creating safety and acknowledging the unique aspects of behavioral marketing is the key to attracting the buyers who are looking for us. Becoming a magnet for the human spirit energizes the company and the entire industry for the better.

The law of attraction is one that assumes you bring to yourself the things you think about, that energy and matter draw good results to us. I have a philosophy that there is a core of power in any idea, and the closer we are to it, the shorter our orbit is around it and the more warmth we receive. As we move away from this core of principles, we travel a longer distance, are separated from the light, and estranged from the simplicity of what makes us human. As we add cogs to the wheel out of our own desire to move faster, we overcomplicate our journey and inhibit progress.

By returning to and understanding that the shortest path will bring us the most reward, we find that there are others traveling that path with us. These are the people who are attracted to you because they’re attracted to comfort and safety. They are all yearning for simplicity as well. You are all equal.

It is with this ideal in mind that I find the law of attraction working for me and working for the people I have helped. When I’m on the right path and have an authentic mindset, I look around and all the things I desire are naturally authentic as well. In essence, when I put my “for sale” sign out, the buyers are already on my lawn just waiting for a hot bagel and some good coffee before they sign my contract and buy my home.

How change and fear can overtake the sale
We are more afraid of change than death, evidenced by the fact that we keep smoking in the face of certain illness and death. Because change is the catalyst for all growth, and growth is the path to all wellness, change and wellness naturally go hand in hand.

Fear is a part of nearly every decision. It is the yang in our ying. The stop in our go. The down in our up. It is one of the most prevalent behaviors present in every sales encounter. If we can approach and eliminate fear, by traveling on the shortest path to healing that emotion, we can stay on our path of authenticity as we reinvent what it means to create the meaning of “home” for our buyers.

To quote Marilyn Ferguson on this idea of fear of change we read, “It’s It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.”

If you're looking for something to hold on to, a hand that will guide you as you leap to the next rock and discover that selling is about healing, and being whole is what makes life so euphoric!

Six Ways to Become Truly Authentic

Every day the flood keeps getting closer to our front door. The waves lap at our kitchen table, taking our food and our way of life with it showing neither remorse or evil. It just "is."
While it's becoming harder and harder to imagine that we'll survive this without having to become greeters at our local hardware store to pay the rent, there is still something that the waters can't touch. And that is how you feel about yourself inside.

Our way of life here in the western world has been the subject of many criticisms. Mostly we are dubbed as a citizenship of mindless and selfish consumers, eating everything alive as we go and spitting out all but a small bit before engorging ourselves again. But what we're not asking is why do we feel so unsafe that the only path we choose is one of gluttony? Why in a country of wealth and opportunity are we falling like flies into a pit of acquiring?

Although we are told by certain scholars of human behavior, that's gluttony is a natural state of man, what can be uncovered by asking the deeper question may help us all find more peace and even some macro answers as well. How can we find enlightenment and, as the Yogi's say, become Buddha and find true peace?

I have created and sponsor a networking group for women called Networking, Women and Wine, here in Charlotte, NC. We meet once a month to help each other find solutions and friendships. Although the premise is to widen our sphere of influence as business owners or career women, we believe that the power of gathering with a higher ideal for creating solutions helps soothe and renew us all.

Wine has become our mascot for the simple fact that wine and wine making are such symbols of creativity, individuality and authenticity, let alone surviving hardship while growing and becoming more complex as time goes on.

Which leads us to the reason for this narrative; some advice on authentic living.

How many times have we heard this word and wondered, deep inside, if we can get in touch with this concept in a world that seems to be mired in deceit? Peeling off the layers of camouflage diligently applied to our business image, through a collective desire to be on top, follow the pack, and acquire the right things has caused us now to question our own intuition. As business women, we've followed all the rules, listened to the so called experts of business, sociology, and profit and wondered why it felt like we were having an out of body experience every time we marketed ourselves.

We hear a lot of people talking about getting back to basics. My opinion is, and you may share my thoughts, that the word "back" is inherently the problem. Looking to the past as a teacher is like asking a 5 year old how to handle a mid-life crisis. There is no perception of balance or wisdom, without experience. The past can indeed be a teacher (not a template!), but to reinstate old ideas is slow death and a movement away from being authentic in almost every language of success.

To follow the natural rhythm of life is to move forward and reinvent every day. There is only ‘now’ to listen to. And listen carefully you must. The basics we crave are in us already.

The following are some rules I see being obeyed by those moving forward in wellness, who are creating a life of positive success, no matter what the tide is bringing in or taking away. They’re concepts you can apply starting today, so that you can resuscitate your livelihood, your brand and your sense of self.

1. Isolate clearly the reason you’re doing what you’re doing.
Is there yearning in your heart each day to grow your business or career? Do you see ways it can integrate into the fabric of humanity and offer prosperity to others, not only to you? Does it burn with a passion and make you feel whole? Find that and you find success.

2. Locate someone who displays this kind of success and ask them to be a mentor.
Who are the people that stand for what you stand for? Whether you talk with them via a pod-cast from Bermuda or sit over a cup of coffee each week inside your house, create a structure for asking and recording their responses on a myriad of disciplines that are valuable to you. Then create a plan to implement them a little each day.

3. Balance your life in every way by keeping track of the basic needs in your life: Nutrition, movement, fulfillment, and safety.
Make sure you’re not sabotaging your body and your mind by eating poorly. You don’t have to become someone who eats only leaves and herbs, but watch nutrition by monitoring sugar intake, plenty of fruits and vegetables, and overly large portions, and learn about the effects certain prescription drugs may be having on your body that you need to compensate for.

Movement is life, because it helps with circulation and clarifying the body of toxins. Movement is also a way to indulge in self expression and of course some kind of exercise is the key to everything. Then, when it’s time NOT to move, make sure sleeping is done in an environment that allows restfulness and peace...and enough of it.

Fulfillment is the balance of your sense of self. Are you communicating properly with the people in your life? Are you saying what you mean? Are you in touch with what is hurting you or helping you? Do you need to work on that part?

Safety, a basic human instinct, rules most all other behaviors in our life. If we don’t feel safe we react sharply in a primal ways that throws us off balance and certainly wreak havoc with those around us.

4. Share some time with those you love and ask them if they see you being true to yourself. They’ll have surprisingly valuable answers.
Mirrors are great. But the reflection staring back is still seen through your eyes, your value system, your lens of life. Truth exists from inside you and you overlay those value systems to everything sometimes clouding your path. Good friends and people you respect for having balance can make excellent sounding boards for true self discovery. We’re not talking about gabbing and sharing all your woes with people, we’re talking about self awareness. Ask them if you seem happy, and if you are easy to be around. Ask them if they have any thoughts about whether or not you’re being true to yourself. Make it fun and you’ll find out some wonderful things about yourself. You’ll find most of these people have some insights that are positive and wise, and give you good direction for the future.

5. Evaluate what YOU can do to make the world around you a better place and incorporate that into your business plan.
This is easier said than done, but still possible. If the results of your product and your dream do not eventually help the world around you, your imagination and resources will diminish. We must look to create connections and success through products, services and behaviors that create lasting impact. That is the way to finding a path that is real, to a prosperity that is rewarding and to authenticity in every way.

6. Finally, simply let the tide in.
You cannot hold back the waters of change or correction. Often the crop is washed away with the weeks. But we can all find new endeavors waiting on the wake of it's perceived destruction. I always say, any day you're breathing in and out is a good day! Make good on the inside and you'll find life is still full of wonderful lessons, opportunities and connections.